Another One Bites The Dust

“Sometimes giving up, doesn’t mean that you’ve lost.”

Many of you may have forgotten about Catalina and Jason. If so here’s a recap:

These two were first featured in my previous blog entitled ” Approaching A Potential Match In Church: Yikes!”

Catalina was struggling with whether she should ask Jason out or not. He is the worship leader at the church that she attends. I like to refer to him as a mini celebrity.

Since then she has asked him out and has continuously made ATTEMPTS to establish communication between them.

The Take Off Was A Bit Rocky…
The first interaction between the two seemed promising. She asked him out and established interest. Then sometime passed and she tried to talk to him again. Well those times didn’t go so well.

One of the times, he didn’t speak at all. There wasn’t any eye contact. Just a complete and utter failure.

The last encounter had humor, laughter and even a nice hug at the end, but she walked away with absolutely nothing. He didn’t remember her from the previous conversations. He forgot all about the fact that she asked him out. She was no closer to knowing if he liked her or not.


“There’s a possibility that it may not all be his fault.”


Here’s Why:
There has been extremely long stretches of time between each of their interactions. From what I’ve learned, men tend to be singular minded individuals. They tend to lack the ability to remember far off things, and can’t shift focus at a moments notice.

Jason talks to numerous people daily. Maybe Catalina got swept into that large crowd. There are always plenty of people vying for his attention while he is in the middle of speaking to someone.
All in all, the time and place just never seems to be ideal. Then again when  is life.


There’s Always A Lesson To Be Learned:
This has helped Catalina shift her perspective on things. It is extremely evident that this isn’t going anywhere, at least for right now. What’s the harm in taking a step back and letting Jason come to her for a change, if his interest in her is equal to her interest in him.

Some people spend their entire life chasing something that was never meant for them to have. At times, while you’re chasing the wrong thing you may miss the thing that’s right for you.

Catalina knows just how wonderful she is. It isn’t her job to convince someone of that, only to love them once they realize it.

You don’t have to agree with her take on the situation. The comment box is open for your opinion.


Dreams: What Does Yours Mean?

Dreams are interpretations of the sub-conscious and conscious regions of your mind. There are many theories to analyzing dreams. Dreams are vital to working through frustration and emotions that you can’t seem to face in a waking state. Essentially, dreams are vital to a human beings health.

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I like to recall the details of my dream as soon as I wake, inorder to retain the most details possible. Also it is important to acknowldege the emotional feel of the dream. Now, I’m going to start writing them down to keep the memory of what happened even fresher in my mind. Who knows what I can uncover and learn about myself. When I have the key details, I look up the meaning to gain a better understanding of what my dream was really about. For example, driving a car has a deeper meaning than what you know on the surface. It is usually a symbol of who you feel is in control of your life.

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In all, this could be a way for the subconscious part of your mind to bring dormant issues, solutions, emotions, etc; to the surface. Some beleive dreams are a window to a past life or event that you were once a part of. There are some scientific studies that show some evidence to the claim. Whatever you may believe there is no disputing that there is some significance to a dream, even if you can’t remember it.

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Where Am I Getting At?

I keep seeing a particular person show up in my dreams, and I’m trying to make some sense of it. This isn’t someone I know very well or spend a lot of my day thinking about, but somehow he appears in a dream or two, every now and then. I assume this is my sub-conscious projecting the deep rooted emotion attributed to this person. Pretty much expressing all the things I can’t seem to say in person.

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Here’s The Twist

You’ve probably reached the conclusion that it’s probably “Wet Dreams” that I’m having. Nope, the kicker is we are always in perfectly normal situations and I don’t try to express any of my romantic feelings to him. How annoying is it, not even your fantasy will give you what you want.

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Seems Hopless Right?

It’s perfectly normal to have dreams such as this. It is actually a bit theraputic to act out your inner desires on some level. Now when I see him, I won’t be so wound up.

here’s a link to some more information on dreams, and a dictionary of what the symbols could possibly mean. Hope this is some help to you.

We All Need Second Chances: Maybe It’s You

I believe that it’s important for you to be the best version of yourself in order to know what it is you’re looking for, because of that I have been listening to other point of views regarding women and dating. I am confident that I have come pretty far with my personal evolution, but I’m sure there are some flaws in myself that I just don’t see. Recently, I came across another helpful relationship video that explains the common things women tend to do wrong. So if you’re constantly going through guys and dates that lead to nowhereville, there is the possibility that it’s you. This was a bit of a eye opener for me because I tend to do these things myself. I have decided to try and follow these steps the next time I ask someone out, and I already have someone in mind. Here are a summary of the most crucial parts.

1: Throw out the one strike rule:

According to the dating expert, in order for a woman to be open minded, you must give at least second and third chances before putting up the wall towards a potential match. I agree to a degree. We are all humanly flawed and  sometimes it takes  more than one attempt to get things right. Think of the hardest test you took in your life, and how studying and attempts it took you to get out on top.  Next it is the possibility that the social blunders are attributed to nervousness. It isn’t easy to express yourself when your heart is pounding as loud as a drum. Think of all the times you were interacting with someone you really liked. Are you going to pretend that there were no social blunders and butterflies because of it?

2: Don’t be subtle:

I am absolutely guilty of this at times. A hint isn’t good enough anymore and a smile doesn’t make your intentions clear either. Uggh. I’m getting exhausted and I’ve only reached number 2. Men need things spelled out for them the way a toddler does. Along with the smile, you need to incorporate touch and be more direct in your questions and answers. It doesn’t sound hard until you have to actually do this to suit your specific situation. Don’t forget to make it fun. It’s never easy to go outside of your comfort zone and risk your feelings not being reciprocated. We all have our fears about this, it we didn’t then we wouldn’t be human. The question you need to ask yourself is simply, isn’t this person worth the risk. After all the outcome could be the most meaningful relationship you’ve ever had. I would just keep things in perspective and be mindful that sometimes men need a little push.

3: Commit a day out of your week to being social:

For the modern day independent woman, you might be thinking that you don’t have any spare time to commit to this. Guess what, it just as simple as walking outside. There are single men everywhere, you just have to pay attention. There is a Huffington post article that lists 101 places to actually meet single men. I highly suggest skimming this list because you’d be surprised to see just where they are hiding in plain sight.

Here’s the link:

4: Be truly open to all possibilities:

It’s ok to ask for help sometimes. The more you open your social circle the higher the probability of finding a great guy. Put it out there that you are single and looking. Recruit your friends and family members to find more potantial people to hit if off with. Also don’t let your own expectations and delusions hinder you from giving a unconventional person a chance. We are all guilty of this even me. Now I find myself begging the question “What if I missed out on something great?”

I know this sounds like a lot of work to just get noticed by the right guy, but hiding yourself away isn’t going to make him appear any sooner. I suggest that just work on it day by day, and who knows what possibilities will end up coming your way.


Maybe He’s Just Not That Into You?

Disclaimer: told in first person perspective. Catalina high jacked my blog.
I’d like to take you through the day leading up to the climax of my evening. I got dressed for work like any other day. I put on my dress and realized right away that I was going to definitely get noticed today. I ignored the nagging thoughts about my choice of wardrobe. Yes perhaps I may have gone too far this time. Oh well too late to change my mind.
I say a prayer and start my day at work anticipating what I had planned for later in the evening. I told myself this would be the day that Jason knows that I exist. Waiting definitely isn’t my strong suit. I take the slow scenic route to church after work and still ended up there early.
All day the prospect has been in the farthest region of my mind and I didn’t dare coax it out of hiding because I knew the frenzy that would follow. I remained calm and assertive. Something about today made the worry cease for a while anyway.
Then we begin to enter the church and with each step my heart begins to speed up. I must admit the adrenaline excited me and made me feel alive. I was looking forward to something for the first time in a long time. I took a deep breath as me and Amy found our seats near the instrumental pit like we’ve done on so many occasions.
Now that our seats were secure, I began to visually search for Jason. I saw a glimpse of him enter the back and then he takes a moment too long to reemerge. With my impatience building I decide to seek him out. I decided to walk pass the doors to see if he is standing there. I walked past but the doors are locked.
I exhaled as I felt my frustration begin its attack on me. “I guess this will be another missed opportunity,” I think to myself as I turn around to walk back to my seat.
Then in a moment almost like a dream, Jason walked past me. Before I could get my bearings together he looked at me and said hello first. I answer back quickly, thankfully able to think fast on my feet.
He looks immersed in his thoughts as he continues to walk past me holding his guitar. I quickly caressed his hand demanding his attention in this moment. My touch accomplished this goal and I asked him to join me and Amy after church.
I know what response I wanted, but a part of me knew things wouldn’t conclude the way I’d like. Unfortunately, he has another engagement. I decided not to pry further. You’re probably wondering why I would do such a thing.
Here’s why:
1. I don’t want to become the woman that has to chase a man. I strongly believe everything should be on an equal level. (Interest, attraction and compromise).
2. He’s a mini celebrity. He has women falling all over him on a routine basis. I don’t want to be tossed in with those other women. I am not afraid to express my interest but I refuse to let it become desperation.
3. He seemed oblivious to just what I was asking. He was preoccupied with too many things to realize that I was asking him out or he just wasn’t interested. (Although Amy told he did check me out when I had my head turned). I didn’t expect his life to stop because I wanted some of his time.
4. I’m trying to exercise patience and letting Jesus take the wheel of the situation.

A part of me wanted to go in for the kill, and just have him backed into a corner until he had no choice but to concede to my demands, but that’s too aggressive. Am I wrong for wanting the man to be the aggressor for a change?
After all that I didn’t feel chagrin or melancholy. I felt triumphant. I finally spoke to the guy I’ve had a crush on for months now. I don’t know what my next step will be but I know I’ll be taking them in strides, knowing that there isn’t anything I can’t do.
Please share your opinion and advice in the comment box and thank you for reading about an auspicious event in my life.

Here’s a article on why a woman should ask a guy out:
Okay Carlene, you can have your blog back.