Misery and Love

I feel this pain,
clawing and digging at my skin.
Everything I attempt to satiate it with,
only causes it to take hold of me more.

I think I’ll feel this pain,
until I feel your touch again.
Am I crazy for this?

I told you that I don’t care
if you choose to walk away.
But, every time you’re with me,
I’m begging you to stay.

I feel this pain,
burning and throbbing at my brain.
I down a bunch of pain killers,
but the ache only intensifies.

I must find a way,
to erase you from my memories.
I’d prefer madness to this.

I tell myself to ignore everything,
that I love about you.
But you beat at my heart,
until it let’s you in again.

Oh, why must you hurt me like this?

I feel this pain,
freezing and shattering my heart.
I touch your lips for some warmth,
but that’s only a temporary fix.

I must find a way to stop the pain,
but the distance only causes me to
hunger for you more.

I feel this pain,
gaining a stronger hold on me.
I attempt to shake it free,
but it only tightens the ropes around me.

Damn it! Damn it! Please just set me free.
I no longer want to be apart of this misery.

 

There Is A Candle In Your Heart

There is a candle in your heart,
ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul,
ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?
You feel the separation
from the Beloved.
Invite Him to fill you up,
embrace the fire.
Remind those who tell you otherwise that
Love
comes to you of its own accord,
and the yearning for it
cannot be learned in any school.

From: ‘Hush Don’t Say Anything to God: Passionate Poems of Rumi’
Translated by Sharam Shiva

Hosanna: My Cornerstone

I was dead until you breathed new life into me.

Your love has become,

my nectar of immortality.

 

After drinking from your cup,

My eyes are open to all that I was

blind to.

 

I see now that you are the way.

The one true path,

that I shall choose to walk from.

 

My heart was slowly dying,

being ground into many fine pieces of dust.

I decided to take a handful,

and allow it to scatter in the air.

 

That is until you found me so low one day.

You gave me your hand and pulled me

from the ground.

 

I was so thankful to lean on you, so that I could walk.

You took the pieces of my heart into your hands,

and began making it whole again.

It was like watching sand become a rock.

 

How was it possible for me to be worthy

of such a miracle?

 

You smiled and handed it back to me,

said that I should keep it safe this time.

Silly me,

I thought you meant that I should keep

it locked  away from everyone.

 

In time, I’ve come to understand your wisdom.

You can love and still be strong.

 

Love wasn’t meant to make you weak.

Love wasn’t meant to make you feel sorrow.

Love wasn’t meant to take you from yourself.

Love wasn’t meant to make you gullible.

 

Instead,

It is the hope that keeps you from

falling into the darkness.

It brings peace inside your heart.

It teaches you compassion.

It makes you selfless.

It gives you purpose.

 

The day I took your hand was a blessing,

and I have been thankful ever since.

For you, I was waiting all my life.

 

You rescued me from all my lonely nights.

You removed the scars from my heart,

and showed me how to resurrect my love.

 

You banished the darkness,

creating the stars to guide  me whenever I lose me way.

I fall to your feet now,

because now I know that you are

my cornerstone and the reason for everything.

No Pressure

Come take a walk with me.

Darling, take my hand as we

walk along the beach.

 

Listen to the waves of the rolling sea.

They are unsettled like me.

With each foot print I think

I’m beginning to lose my nerve.

 

Look at the glimmering sun.

It’s beauty pales, when compared

to you.

 

Oh, how do I put this into words?

Would you be hurt if I was to go away?

Do you really want me to stay?

 

How could you say

“If you leave, then don’t come back.”

 

I think it’s beginning to rain.

I watch each droplet get lost in your hair.

Remind me again, what were we fighting about?

 

Your laughter is the most beautiful

sound I’ve ever heard.

Come dance in this down pour

with me.

 

I’ve missed days like this.

Yes, even with the fighting.

Shall we continue our walk?

 

I take my beloved by the hand

and we twirl around and around

once last time in the fading rain.

 

The wind comes alive

and usher’s us closer.

I now have no doubt in

what I should do.

 

I release my hold of your waist.

I take hold of your hand, as I

take a bended knee.

 

This may come as a surprise to you,

but I’ve actually planned everything that

happened today.

Oh, except the rain.

 

I pull my hands from my pocket

to expose what I’ve been hiding.

I have but one more question…

 

“Will You Marry Me?” I shout loudly.

I had to throw you off somehow

and by the look on your face, I must’ve.

 

Spending Time Together

 

Let’s travel the world.
Let’s spend our time together.
Let’s make time stand still.

 

Let’s stand on a mountain together and shout.
Let’s say it at the same time, “I Love You.”

 

Let’s go watch the Northern Lights.
Let’s dance and splash in the rain tonight.

 

Let’s pose for a photo.
Let’s make a scrapbook.
Let’s promise to always remember this moment.

 

Baby, lets get married and buy a house.
Let’s have a boy and girl.
Let’s buy a rocking chair.

 

Let’s sing lullabies on our porch.
Let’s grow old together.
Lets love each other into the next life time.

 

Let’s sing the truth.
Let’s say it proud.
Let’s say it now,
for me it will always be you.

Working with Words

Let’s travel the world.
Let’s spend our time together.
Let’s make time stand still.

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Phoenix

I don’t see the point in trying anymore,
When it’s clear that you’ve given up and walked away
….long ago.

I don’t know why it took me so long to see it.
I guess, I couldn’t admit just how wrong I was.

I think back on….
All the times you made me
feel so damn small.

How could I have been such a fool,
to let my entire fortress fall,
all for a kiss.

I mean if it was love,
then it wouldn’t have gone away.

We all know real love doesn’t change.
It may grow brighter or dimmer ,
but the roots always remain the same.

Even now with all this wisdom,
my love hasn’t changed.
It has only grown….

Don’t get confused by my words,
I’m defintely over it.
There will be no more of you
raining on my parade.

I have embraced this life without you,
but sometimes being strong is
extremly hard.

I don’t want to lie and say…
I  feel nothing at all.

Sometimes it kills me
to look at you…
and know things will never be the same.

From this point on …
I’ll forever remember you as
the one who bruised my heart.

Now, I know the problem isn’t me.
I wasn’t the one that wanted this for us.
I’m just tired of holding it all back.

In conclusion….
I’ve mastered the art of letting go.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

My tears have evaporated into anger.

It came rolling in like a devastating monsoon.

I feel my pulse quicken as I consider destroying you.

ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ

My love has scattered leaving a vacancy.

I watched as it turned to air and floated

away into the night sky.

ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ

My thoughts of you has mutated into

an irreconizible creature.

A monster that I am lethargic to slay.

ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ

The shackles that bounded me to you have been broken,

and I am now set free.

I will never again be lored into a trap to be imprisoned.

ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ

When I’d hear your call, I always came running,

because it was too unbearable to stay away.

Now when I listen to the same call,

I am reminded of all the times I need you

and you never answered.

ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ

I am ready to jump from our mountain of memories,

into the unknown abyss below.

There, I know I can find the hope I need to reive me.

ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ

I always needed one last embrace from you,

in order to be sure that I was ready to say adieu.

How could I have been so blind?

not to see that you’ve departed my life long ago.

ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ

I watched the hurt flow into me like a river,

as I continued to drown in our past.

Eventually I setteled on a stray branch,

and pulled myself from your poisionus waters.

ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ

I pick up the pieces of all your broken promises,

feeling each of them prick my fingers,

claiming blood every time.

It’s clear knowing you is more harmful than conscientious.

ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ

I listen to all the lies you’ve ever told me,

and build a brick house with them.

Creating a fortress to keep me safe from you.

ζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζζ

Sometimes I feel insane because I still want you to be the one.

but you can only be the one to always shatter my heart.

 

Chimera

I’ve grown tired of pretending,

that I don’t love you.

Everytime I see you,

I just want to wrap my arms around you.

 

When I look into your eyes,

my lips wish to confess,

but something always prevents them.

 

It’s only a smile,

but my heart burns like a wild fire.

Oh, how I wish I could tell you that

somehow, I’ve grown to love you.

 

I want to be close to you,

a feeling I wasn’t expecting.

I must find a way to show you

that you and I are destined.

 

your eyes seem like glass,

and I am always looking back

at my own reflection.

 

This pain in my heart,

only seems to be getting worse.

I need you to relieve me.

 

Until then,

I’ll keep everything locked away

for the day when you’ll

be ready to listen.

I’ll Go

I want you to stay a little longer this time,
so that I can say goodbye properly.
I can see that our hearts are traveling in opossing directions.


I still want to embrace you one last time,
so that I can inhale the sweet aroma of your sweater.
My love where are you,
don’t desert me now.


No one will win the fight this time,
because neither of us can find meaning in the other.
Say something to convince me not to give up on us.


I hear the answer in your silence this time,
although, I needed you to stay.
I think I’m finally ready to surrender to our enevitable fate.


I don’t feel like crying this time,
because the anger has finally left my soul.
I can finally see a tomorrow around the bend without you.


I take your hand one last time,
to be sure that you no longer have a shadow
roaming throughout the corners of my heart.
A new thought has taken it’s place.


I won’t be the one to call this time,
because there isn’t anything left to say,
other than goodbye.

“Surrender” ~ A Random Emotion

I look out, and watch as the moonlight dances across the night sky.
It is here in this moment that I think of you.
I recall your dark piercing eyes and how they glimmered like stars.
Then for a moment they were shinning on me,
and I felt the earth move beneath my feet.

That night you sparked something inside of me,
that I was certain had been lost long ago.
The eagerness to be close to you sprouted, and grew, and grew,
until I could no longer contain it.
I had to say Hello.

I felt my lips quiver as I said the words, while searching your eyes.
I found reticence and vulnerability hiding behind them.
I touched your hand as I remembered the robust moon
lighting my way in the darkness.

I could see that you weren’t ready,
to embrace me with open arms.
I let my hands fall from its hold on you,
unsure if I would truly let go.

My hello had turned into goodbye.

I wanted to forget everything that you had awakened within me,
but seeing the moon always reminded me of the light
that you’ve brought into my life.
How could I turn away from you,
When you have brought meaning to my dark sky.

I’m sure the moon once had to teach the stars,
how to shine.
I’ll show you the same.
The only remaining choice is to wait
until you’re ready to surrender.